[Tezza]

In order to make a mouthcrackingly good tasty 19403 year old sandwich you must have the following Ingredients.

Ingredients!
Butter.
Balsa Wood.
7.4 Teeth.
An ounce of air.
4% of Superman’s chest hair.
72 Squirrel souls.
A large quantity of nothing.
42 pounds of Shakespeare.
Keyboards made from fish.
Cornbread without the bread.
A quarter of existence.
And one kilo of freshly shoveled H2O in frozen form.

Making the Sandwich!
1.You must take the butter on a long walk down a beach telling it tales of misfortune souls in order to gain its trust, once you gain it’s trust only then will it open its inner essence so that you may extract its vile soul to add to your meal.

2. Invade the lands of the Balsa wood Empire, attacking their leader will lead to a hidden cave filled with their young. Once you reach this point you must clack your fingers 4 times and shout “I AM A SNAIL”, upon screeching this phrase all balsa wood children will turn into pure steel balsa styled wood frame which is perfect for the sandwich.

3. The teeth you must extract from baby crocodilian people from the top of Mount Hooooooooooo! Once you reach the peak you must extract them with a toothpick made of rubber rocks, getting the .4 of a tooth is the hardest part for an obsidian fragment must be used to receive it.

4. Using a 5ft net made of spiders you must flail widely in order to scare oxygen into an ounce state, only then may you use a square circle to get the ounce into a pocket dimension for later use in your sandwich.

5. Seducing Superman is the best way of getting near enough to slice 4% of his chest hair from his body, upon getting close to him you must use a serrated dishboard to cut through his ego and snatch his filthy rainbow body hair!

6. A large wood chipper is a great way of getting the 72 squirrel souls you need, just be sure to place a large death beacon on your head and grumble as you wriggle madly to the sounds of their screams.

7. Clap your hands at the speed of fast and then headbutt yourself in order to create a space of nothingness, then put it in your eye and save it for the final steps.

8. This step is rather difficult, you must bend the reality of time and break through your own reflection to find a poetic resemblance of Shakespeare himself, once you crush him under the hammer of thor use a steel bug catcher to get 42 pounds of his essence and place it within a box made of thunder.

9. Simply carve a keyboard shape into air and slam fish into it until you get the desired fishy keyboard, then slap your siblings for extra spice!

10. Punch cornbread repeatedly in the face until the bread begins to cry, then insult it constantly until it literally collapses upon itself sucking the entire universe into it leaving nothing but corn floating within your very core, use a pair of tweezers to extract it.

11. Widen your arms and fling yourself into space at the speed of snailspeed, then collapse yourself and wiggle like some kind of weird amphibious dolphin and take a chunk of everything. Slam it all together and you got yourself a chunk of existence!

12. The final ingredient must be stolen from The Museum of Blankets, shoveling it madly into a hole in a hole is the best extraction point.

Final Step
Slaughter an entire field of baby carrots and sacrifice their souls to the God of Scrublands thus creating a spacial indifference where you may enter the Null Void. Here the rules of creation no longer function and where you may begin forging the sandwich in the Nexus Voidforge. Using an exact replica of a magazine made from 7 different pages of a tome that was destroyed by a midget in a suit of flowers, you must pound each ingredient into the plate on which you want your sandwich, in the final stages of creation an extremely bright light burning at 4235954 Fahrenheit will appear and freeze you in place preventing you from completing your sandwich. In order to beat the light you must think of Neo and begin imagining the taste, texture and shape of the godlike sandwich. Your thought will make the void collapse and you will awaken with your sandwich in your hands, Eat the sandwich and absorb the infinite knowledge of the universe before you implode into your sock.

I hope you enjoy your sandwich!